Key lessons learned from Coaching.

As we approach the end of 2009 I have been reflecting on my coaching experiences throughout this past year. I have been busier than ever with my coaching work with Developing People this year, coaching 45 different people for an average of about 5 sessions each – a total of more than 200 individual sessions. Given this amount of focused coaching effort, there are some important themes and lessons that can be learned from this work.

Many of these coachees have come from the same organisations where I have been engaged to coach a number of managers from the same team – and quite often also their boss.

There has been a significant benefit to the coachees themselves, meaning it is not only organisations and individual managers who benefit from what individual coaching can offer. I have not lost any of these coachees during the middle of a series of coaching sessions and all of them have gone on to complete the committed number of sessions and nearly half of them have carried on beyond their original coaching plan.

I have also been regularly recommended and asked to coach 4 other people who are colleagues of some of the original coachees.

Here are some themes that this year’s coaching sessions have reinforced in my mind:

• Confidentiality is absolutely crucial – especially when coaching people from the same team or in the same management reporting line. When professional links, relationships and other complexities are involved, it would be very easy to ‘put your foot in it’.
• The relationship between coach and coachee is fundamental and it needs to be a supportive, non-judgemental, trusting one.
• Using my intuition as the coach and knowing when to be truly authentic and honest with my feelings and thoughts about their situation is more likely to produce breakthrough thinking and actions that will really make a difference.
• It is important to support each person that I am coaching- even if they get into difficulties with their sponsoring organisation. This has happened with two managers that I was asked to coach who were employed in an F.E. College but who were then asked to leave their employment under “compromise agreements”. Whilst it is not my role to give them advice about the merits or demerits of their situation or advice on how to negotiate the best deal with their organisation it was gratifying to know that they both wanted me to continue to coach them and to support them with their new career search outside their original organisation.
• When we have surveyed our coachees and asked them what they would like me to do more of or do differently for them in their coaching sessions, the main thing that they ask me to do is to challenge them more. I am conscious of this and also aware of the need to strike the right balance of challenge and support for them, in order to maintain an appropriate level of openness and disclosure from them. My sense is that it will not be conducive to our coaching relationship if they feel that I am being too critical of them and constantly judging them. This is one of the criticisms some of them often level at their line managers!

How ego can affect the success of coaching.

We all have our egos and they can and do have a big impact on how we conduct ourselves, our communications and our relationships. They also influence our attitudes and how we relate to both the outer world and to our inner world of thoughts and feelings.

As a consequence we also take our egos into any coaching relationships – both as the coach and as coachee.

The coaching subjects all have their own egos to work with and most of them, in my experience, fit in towards the middle of a normal distribution curve of attitudes and behaviours – neither with over inflated egos nor with over whelming anxiety and uncertainty. If there is any tendency towards the extremes then I sometimes encounter people who are some what uncertain and lacking in confidence.

In these situations part of my coaching work is about helping them to build their confidence to an appropriate level and to help them to deal with more assertive people and those who are difficult to work with. Sometimes difficulties exist for coachees with their line managers who may not understand them or who may even have their own swollen egos to deal with.

I have occasionally been asked to coach a person with a big ego and this has provided its own unique challenge and my response must vary from person to person. The positive aspect of a big ego is that the person is usually very interested in themselves and in their own success. The potential downside however is that sometimes this type of person wants a lot of ego stroking from their coach and they may not be very realistic or self-aware. Giving these people objectives and useful feedback is part of the challenge and so is the role of challenger.

Quite often they don’t like the idea of them having weaknesses or development areas to reflect and act upon. One way that I have found to get this aspect across to strong people is to talk about “over played” strengths becoming weaknesses and inhibiting performance. This approach can help them to accept the message and for the feedback to become acceptable and useful in practice.

In a small number of coaching assignments that I have taken on, it has become apparent to me and to the coachee that the realisations and changes required by this type of coaching is not consistent with their view of themselves and of their world. In such cases we have agreed to discontinue the work. The requirements of openness, looking inwards at oneself, admitting to vulnerabilities and taking the responsibility for producing and implementing an action plan that may include behaviour change, is sometimes a step too far for these people.

We must also consider our own egos as coaches. We cannot deny that we have them but we need to be able to put them to one side if we are to truly focus on the needs of our coachees. We are there to listen to, support and challenge them to work on their real issues and objectives – not to massage our own egos or self-importance. All too often in the arena of sport we can see the ego of the team's coach or “manager” being placed ahead of the needs and achievements of the team – particularly when success arrives!

One aspect of this coaching role, that I find particularly challenging is the use of experiences or any anecdotes from my past which I think might stimulate new thoughts for the coachee through my example. In sharing my experiences and vulnerabilities with them I need to check with myself that I am doing this for their benefit and not for my own. It may give them the confidence to deal with an important issue for them but that assessment should be made on a case by case basis.

Keeping in my mind that the success of anyone that I coach is their success rather than mine, is an important aspect to bear in mind.

The increasing interest by Directors in coaching

A recent survey has indicated that directors in more than 75% of the FTSE 100 companies are involved in some form of 1 to 1 coaching programme. Most of these programmes use coaches from outside the organisation because of their objectivity, ability to be both supportive and challenging and their focused coaching ability.

The amount of external coaching activity available has been increasingly rapidly, but how can we know that these coaches provide a value added service to help their coaching subjects, to perform more effectively in the jobs?

One worry is that this expansion of activity could debase coaching standards. Anyone can set themselves up as coach in the UK and charge hefty fees in a “profession” that has no formal regulatory body with one professional accreditation instituition. There is also the complication of the various different types of coaches who offer themselves for hire.
Some are closer to being mentors or expert business advisers or consultants. Others provide a more personal “life coaching” service which concentrates more on the non-work aspects of the coaches life and pressures and less on the subjects business issues.
There are also a number of coaches whose experience base comes from a competitive sports background and who focus very strongly on performance technique, achievement, data measurements and making quantifiable progress in specific business performance objectives. Some provide face to face coaching sessions – others do so over the telephone.

So how is a director, leader, manager or professional in an organisation able to find their way through this complex and dispersed coaching marketplace in order to find the right coach for them? What key questions should they ask themselves or any prospective coaches in order to establish who might be the right sort of coach for them?
The things that the subject should consider for themselves are these:-

• Are their needs primarily in the business area, or in their non-work life or a balance of both?
• Are they looking for solutions to specific business issues and do they do they need an industry or functional specialist – in which case you may need more of a business mentor or consultant.
• Are you looking to be told the answers to your problems or are you seeking to find solutions to your own issues with some one else’s help. In the former case you may respond better to a directive coach/consultant but in the latter case you would be better off with a non-directive coach.
• If you wish to be pushed and motivated to work harder to achieve your performance goals then you may enjoy working with a sports experienced coach.

Having answered these questions for yourself then you should look for 2 or 3 coaches with the sort of profile, experience and approach that suits your needs and ask them for their answers to these questions. You should ask for personal references to talk to who have been coached by these coaches and make your own assessment of the personalities, integrity, confidentiality and support and challenge approach that they have to offer you.

We at Developing People would also recommend that ask about their fees and for an estimate of how many coaching sessions you may need to undertake. If they say that you can achieve significant change and improvement in 1 or 2 sessions then this is not realistic and you should reject them. Alternatively if they expect you to sign up to more than 6 or 7 sessions right from the start before you have even got into a deep and meaningful discussion with them about your needs then this is excessive.

Remember that the choice of coach is yours – you must feel that you can be open and honest with them and be able to trust them. This relationship is all important to help ensure that coaching can be successful for you.

What advice do I give to person who wants to become a coach? Part one

By Claire Loving

There has been a significant increase in the number of people who are offering themselves as coaches to people in both the business world and in life in general. Over time, the public has become aware of coaching as a means of support in jobs that come with a great deal of stress. Many more training courses for coaches being advertised for people to train to become coaches and therefore there is much more availability and choice for people who want to ‘be coached’ or as I would say ‘receive coaching’.

I have been coaching people working in businesses and other organisations for the past 18 years and I am often asked by people that I meet how I got started as a coach – usually because they are hoping to become a coach themselves and they are interested in any advice that I have to give them. I originally learned about coaching from a person called Ben Cannon who had originally been a tennis player and tennis coach but who took what he had learned in the sports environment on into business and applied many of the same techniques and approaches to help people in business to improve their satisfaction and performance. The style that I learned from him was a ‘non-directive’ approach rather than a ‘tell’ style and it was and still is best explained and understood for me in the excellent book “Coaching for Performance” written by John Whitmore, now Sir John Whitmore a British ex-motor racing driver.

His seminal book and the GROW model coaching technique that he describes in it, is still, in my view, the best text for an aspiring coach to start with. This brings me to another key point about becoming a coach – it is something that you learn – largely by experience – and not something than can solely be taught or acquired through a training course. The other book that I found to be very instructive for me as an aspiring coach was the “Inner Game” series of books written by Timothy Gallwey about sports such as tennis, golf etc. His approach to coaching was also a non-directive one and also had its roots in tennis coaching in the U S.

The key learning for me from this text was about the self-awareness and responsibility of the coaching subject – the coachee – for the doing of their job. It is their job and life – not yours as a coach, that is important and therefore your focus of attention should be on them and what they are thinking, feeling and experiencing rather than on you as the coach.

So when asked about how I would advice a person to find out about coaching I would direct them towards reading some of these basics texts which explain the philosophy, approach and some techniques for non-directive coaching. Clearly there is another much more directive style of coaching around that is best embodied in many professional football coaches (and in some other sports) which relies on the “tell” or “push” approach to coaching. This can and does work effectively in some spheres of human endeavour and with some performers but it relies on the concepts of power, authority, expertise, knowledge of the “right way” to do things and on the coach taking part of the responsibility of how and what to do away from the performer. In my experience this is not the best way to approach coaching in business because invariably the coachees know so much more about their business situation than I do as their coach and they also expect to treated as responsible adults and don’t want to be told by me what to do and how to do it – they see this quite rightly as their choice and responsibility.

Look out for part two of this post next week

What to do if it looks as if your coachee is never going to change?

The underlying purpose of coaching is for the coachee to learn how to think differently so that they can improve their life either personally or professionally. As a coach, you must find a way of raising their self-awareness and help to find ways of taking new actions to improve not only your coachee’s action but also enable them to move towards independence and self-sufficiency.

However, this process can be difficult for a person new to the world of coaching and it may take time for the coachee to recognise all the possibilities available to them. Yet, if a coachee is showing no signs of taking on board the information you wish to impart, it can be very difficult to continue with the coaching. As a coach you should be able to find a way to relate to your clients, no matter how frustrating it may be to meet resistance.

How can you reach out to your coachee?

• It could be that your coachee is still not very aware of their potential. You need to eke out a positive response and you can do this by admitting to your coachee that the sessions are not working as you expected and devise a plan to go forward together. Hand control back over to them.
• Could it be that there are external barriers stopping the coachee from progressing? They may not have originally been forthcoming with personal information that you need to be aware of, such as a sick relative, a complicated divorce or a medical complaint of their own. Coaching requires honesty on both of your parts and you need to adopt a holistic approach to helping a person improve professionally.
• Are your goals the same? As a coach, you may wish to help an individual improve professionally in different ways but your coachee may just want someone to talk to, to get issues off their chest. Some people just want to talk and be listened to. Some people do find a sympathetic ear empowering as it reminds them that they are worth listening to.
• Why has this person sought coaching? Some people truly want to improve their performance whereas other may simply begin coaching to please a superior. In a case like this, you may have to consider bringing the coaching relationship to an honest close as there is nothing you can do for them.

If you have tried for a significant period of time to engage with your coachee and find yourself getting nowhere, you need to be upfront with them. Realistically, you can only work with people who want your help. If the coachee is not willing to make coaching work for them, you need to assess whether or not they would benefit from you taking the time to persevere with their case.

Why is coaching often more effective than other forms of leadership or management development?

Businesses often are unaware of the benefits coaching can give to their employees and as a direct result, their profits. It is often suggested that coaching is more effective in improving an individual’s performance than a leadership or management development programme. This is a somewhat subjective statement and as a business, you know you cannot afford to take a chance in these difficult times, on companies offering services that have little apparent and tangible results.

So what are the practical differences between coaching and leadership or management development programmes?

Firstly the coaching process is 1 to 1 and the focus is 100% on the individual, where as leadership and management development programmes are invariably for groups. By focusing on one person at a time, there is an opportunity to address the issues the coachee may not wish to raise in a group setting. Also, the agenda and objectives for these group programmes are usually set in advance, meaning that it may not relate directly to the individual manager's specific developmental requirements. As the agenda for a coaching session is largely set by the coachee, the process becomes flexible and the results specifically tailored. On a leadership or management course, it is not easy to change the agenda and as the structure is more rigid, participants may leave with more questions than they arrived with.

When involved with coaching, the coachee may feel the call to action is stronger and more detailed than a participant of a leadership or management training course. The sessions where the action plans are often fewer and more general are clearly going to be less beneficial to those involved than action plans that are individually tailored and monitored by a coach.

A feature of coaching sessions is that notes will be taken, goals will be set at the end of every coaching session and managers will be asked by the coach if they have achieved their goals and how. Individuals are nurtured and are assessed to see if they need a different motivation technique. The ability to talk and act honestly, naturally and spontaneously is encouraged for a coachee whereas any displays of frustration, anger and emotion would be regarded as disruptive on a leadership or management training course. Managers should be encouraged to express their feelings in a constructive manner and this is generally more effective in one-on-one sessions.

There are of course, advantages for participants taking part in course-based activities, many people respond to group activity and create good networking opportunities, however, this is dependent on what you hope to get out of each method. Overall, I believe that subjects of coaching get more from their sessions purely through the specific advice offered to them. It has a powerful impact on their actions, performance but most of all, confidence in the subject’s own abilities and judgement.

Do you have to like the person coaching you for it to be effective?

This would be nice to achieve but is not essential with every coaching relationship and it is unrealistic to expect this in every case. What is essential is a respect for each other and for what you can bring to the executive coaching relationship. What is key is respect for your skills as a coach and for your communication ability. You need to help the coachee to think differently and to look at things with fresh eyes and to provide a new perspective and to be a catalyst for them to ACT on this new thinking.

You may not actually greatly like or warm to the person that you are coaching, nor they you. We are all different individuals and there is ample scope for us to recognise the different perspectives, ideas and beliefs that other people possess. Where this can become difficult is in the area of values, behaviours, management styles and standards. I would find it hard to coach or be coached by a person who lacks fundamental integrity, who was rude to or dismissive of me or his/her people or who wanted to manipulate them or me to do something negative or illegal or completely against their will. If their style is completely autocratic and controlling and if they could not see the possibility of leading and managing in a more positive, democratic way then I would not be able to build and sustain the required rapport and positive relationship with them that I need to establish for me to be an effective support to the people that I coach. I

nterestingly enough, if I look back on the hundreds of people that I have coached over the past 15 years I realise that there have been very few coaching assignments where I have not felt that I could establish the necessary relationship and rapport with my coachee. I suspect that this is largely because the pre-coaching engagement routine that we go through with new people would discourage those with inappropriate values, styles and expectations and that both they and I self-select out of a coaching relationship with someone that we cannot identify with.

Can coaching just be "done" to people - or do they need to know that it is happening to them?

Yes they do need to know that they are being coached. How else can they be expected to play their part in this complex process? How will they understand the approach and techniques that the coach is using? How else can they be expected to be willing to take responsibility for their own issues, learning, thinking and actions?

If you don’t tell them upfront that they are being coached then there is little or no chance that they will play their part in addressing their issues and actively and purposefully work at addressing their issues and acting to resolve them. Furthermore when they do eventually find this out might they then feel manipulated into doing what you want them to do rather than what they really want and need to do? Is this necessarily a bad thing anyway? Well not if you are happy to be manipulating them to take action in the short term that will help you to achieve your goals. But in the long term, when you are not around and leading and controlling their behaviour then how will they act and react and what will their motivation be to do the best job that they can?

In the short term some managers have said to me that they are taking this coaching approach automatically with their employees within the day to day managing of their people. This is true to some extent where they are using the core skills of a coach in their role as manager.

However this is not the same thing as genuinely and openly executive coaching them to improve their performance by using the COACH technique or similar process to address their own issues and objectives, take responsibility for their performance – and not just working to achieve the basic objectives those chosen for them by their manager.

How easy is it to learn to be a coach?

“If it is that easy to understand and use the C.O.A.C.H. technique and model in a two day coaching course - how come it takes a number of years and a load of coaching experience for me to become an effective coach?”

The answer to this is both simple and also complicated.

Yes you can understand what coaching is and is not about, examine the skills required, learn and practice the C.O.A.C.H. model and be ready to apply it for real within the relatively short time of a focussed training course. However you need to also consider that the example coaching practice experience that you get on the course by coaching a fellow participant and peer is not quite the “real” life coaching experience that you may see it as.
This is for these reasons:-

the peer that course participants are coaching is likely to be in the same mental state of preparedness, openness and motivation to learn about coaching as you are.

They have also been listening to, thinking about and learning about the subtleties of coaching in the same environment, time and space that you have

They are tuned in to coaching just like you – they are also just about to go through a reciprocal coaching session with you but in reversed roles

They are not about to give you a hard time, or not quite understand what you are getting at, or to feel significant mistrust of you (unless they have good reason to do so.)

In short, these coaching practice sessions are slightly unreal, run with a “trustee prisoner” who is trying to help you to learn and experience the COACH technique and questioning sequence as well and as quickly possible. It is in their direct interest to help you through the coaching process and for you to reciprocate.

So in addition to any training course or theoretical reading and preparation about coaching, to become an effective coach you also need the guided experience of coaching a range of different coaching subjects in different organisations. You need to do this in order to get a feel for the range of individual differences that exist and to start to develop your own individual style and approach to coaching - but within an overall proven technique and approach.

Coaching, Counselling and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (C.B.T.)

The UK Government has recently allocated significant funding and resource to train and develop CBT professionals to help people with low level mental health disorders. It has been the driving force behind the new IAPT initiative (improving access to psychological therapies) being implemented for local communities, to help people suffering from common mental health problems - anxiety and depression being the most prevalent. This form of talking therapy is different from counselling, which goes back to the past and helps a person to uncover the reasons why and any route cause of their difficulties.

Counsellors explore difficulties that the client is having, the distress they may be experiencing or their dissatisfaction with life. By listening attentively and patiently, the counsellor can begin to perceive the difficulties from the client’s point of view with the aim of helping the client to see things more clearly, possibly from a different perspective.

In a counselling session the client can explore various aspects of their life and their feelings, talking about them freely and openly in a way that is rarely possible with friends or family. Their bottled up feelings, such as anger anxiety, grief and embarrassment can become very intense and counselling offers an opportunity to explore them with the possibility of making them easier to understand.

As an alternative approach, CBT attempts to highlight maladaptive thoughts and behaviours and replace them with more effective and adaptive ones. The therapy is very problem focused and looks at the relationships between people’s cognitions, emotions, physiological responses and behaviour. Focusing on one of these areas can have a significant knock on effect on the other areas. CBT aims to make the client their own therapist, assuming that the client is the expert in their own problems and life experiences. CBT is a “here and now” approach which concentrates on helping the subject understand the realities of how they feel right now in various situations and to think about what they can do about this in future to improve their life experiences and mental well being.

It helps them to set and achieve short, medium and long term goals and develop skills and strategies of their own for the future if the problem arises again. To the extent that it focuses the subject on the here and now, on the options for future action and on the personal responsibility to do something different, it is a similar approach to coaching. What is different from coaching is that often the situation and the sort of problems and symptoms that a CBT client is faced with, tend to be more marked and unusual than the situations faced by most coaching subjects wrestling with the day to day, work related pressures encountered by people in reasonably successful employment.

Coaching for teams.

When I have been asked to coach a number of people from the same team the question has arisen about whether and when to work with them as a group as opposed to working with them as individuals. The focus of my coaching work has always been centred around working 1 to 1 with individuals, in order to concentrate on them, their issues and agenda without the distraction or complication of other people being involved. This also applies to the responsibility of the coachee to focus on themselves and their own agenda, issues and objectives rather than this attention being diffused or diluted by other people being involved. This 1 to 1 relationship and these coaching conversations also acts to protect the coachee’s confidentiality and allows them to talk more freely and openly than would otherwise be possible. It does not guarantee confidentiality however – this is still down to the integrity and actions of the coach!

However over the years I have often been involved in executive coaching a number of individuals from the same team, often helping them to achieve a shared team goal and in these circumstances I feel that it is appropriate to bring them all together at key stages of this work. I do this to help them both as individuals and as a team to achieve their overall team goal and to add value to the individual 1 to 1 coaching process. The sort of team goals that I refer to could be about improving team understanding, roles, responsibilities, efficiency and effectiveness, or improving communication and relationships. With one recent coaching assignment I have been coaching eight managers in an engineering team with the overall goal of improving the culture and performance of their business. In this case I have a 1 to 1 coaching session with each person each month, focusing on their role, issues and agenda and I have held two group sessions with them as follows:-
An introductory session where I brief all of the potential coachees together in one group about the approach that I plan to take to their coaching, the process that we will be going through and I describe the COACH model that I am using. This also provides all of us with the opportunity to understand the shared goals for the team and to discuss how these individual coaching sessions can contribute towards this goal achievement. It also provides the opportunity to talk about the broader scope of this coaching and what else it can potentially offer to the coachee in exploring and working on their own personal agenda. If the line manager, team leader and sponsor of this coaching work is present, which I regard as essential, then it gives us all the opportunity to discuss and explain the confidentiality required and for this to be aired clearly and explicitly with all participants.

The second group coaching session that have then held has been approximately half way through this 9 month coaching assignment when the coachees have been fully immersed in the coaching sessions and have also made some progress in taking their actions to improve culture and performance. This has given us all the chance to check on the teams progress towards its goal, to remind participants about any key learning points that are important and to encourage them to share their learning, insights and any questions or issues about the overall process with each other.

Towards the end of this assignment I plan to hold a further group session to check on the overall success of the work and to help the participants to make the transition from coachee and learner to independent and effective performer. I sometimes do this by encouraging the team members to peer coach each other and to have one or two practice sessions to experience this.

The other situation where it could be important and beneficial to hold a group coaching session would be when something is going wrong with the overall project process or relationships or where something radical has changed in the scope, environment or goal for the work. In this circumstance it could be very helpful to get a clear understanding for everyone about the changing reality and to gain shared commitment from individuals to play their part in working to improve things.

How do you know whether or not a coach is doing a good job?

This is an important question to answer both during but particularly at or after the end of a series of coaching sessions. This question also leads on to some others e g who should decide, when, against what criteria and using what sort of evidence?

If we use the Kirkpatrick Model, commonly used to evaluate the effectiveness of training, this gives us a useful model to start with. This model suggests that there are 4 levels to look at when evaluating the effectiveness and value of a training intervention and these can also be applied to a coaching intervention.

These four levels are:-
Reaction of the student (coachee) – what they thought and felt about the training, usually measured through a brief feedback questionnaire delivered at the end of the training event. The equivalent for me with my COACH model approach is to ask my coachees for some immediate and direct feedback about how well the session has gone at its end – what they liked or disliked or would have me do differently next time.

Learning – the resulting increase in knowledge or capability. This can be judged by either the coachee themselves and/or by their manager/sponsor - particularly if these improvements were agreed as part of the original objectives or brief for the coaching assignment.

Behaviour – the extent of behaviour and capability improvement and implementation/application of it. Again this can be judged by the coachee and by their line manager/sponsor – but against what criteria? Is the criteria provided by the organisation manager or sponsor or is it to be assessed more directly and personally by the coachee themselves against their individual criteria?

Results – the effects on the business or environment resulting from the trainee’s (coachee’s) performance. This is the acid test and needs to be assessed at some later date after the coaching sessions have been concluded and after reasonable time has elapsed for the effect on performance to be established. Given that the underlying aim of coaching is to help the coachee to maximise their satisfaction and performance at work then this is an entirely reasonable but it also needs to be tempered with any other, broader or personal objectives that the coaching sessions may have been designed to address.

This still leaves us with the questions about exactly who should assess the coaching impact at these four different levels, against which criteria and using which vehicles or inputs? We will look at these questions in my next article later on this week.

What makes an outstanding coach?

These are the sorts of characteristics that outstanding coaches possess.

* The confidence but not arrogance to support and challenge another person effectively.
* The ability to be client centred, to set our ego to one side and thereby not to be thinking about ourselves or our own issues and to keep the coachee focused on their own reality, issues and opportunity options.
* To be able to ask good questions, even if some are not fruitful and the skills to probe and help the coachee to distill the essence of their issues and agenda - and to translate this into actionable areas.
* To use both their intuition as well as logic in talking through their situation and in considering their optionsd and actions.

* The ability to challenge a person to get real about their situation and to get really committed to doing something about. Empathy and rapport such that the coachee will trust themselves tell the coach everything relevant about their situation - even things that they may not have dared to share with anyone else.

* To possess and use their breadth and depth of understanding of people, of organisations, of relationships of groups and teams, to the full advantage of the coachee.

* The ability to take effective notes either during a session and whilst talking or listening to a coachee or shortly after the session has ended.

* To make the links between different aspects, pieces of information and themes within a session or sessions.

* To be non-judgemental of the coachee and to demonstrate flexibility of thinking to adjust and help the coachee to adjust to new information and feelings as they emerge

Making Our Personality Work For Us In Our Coaching.

Inevitably we take our personality along with us into any coaching relationship. We cannot avoid this unless we decide to behave or act in a way that is fundamentally different fro our core personality.

I recognise that in preparing for and particularly when conducting coaching sessions then some of my senses and behaviours are heightened. I will actively listen more. I will really think about the coachee’s response, what it might mean and where to go next with the conversation. I will ask them the very best questions that I assess will help them think more deeply and clearly. I will carefully observe their body language for signs that indicate how they are thinking and feeling. I will work hard to suspend my judgement, remain open minded and block out thoughts about my own world and situation. In short I will “give them a good listening to” as someone once described it back to me.

I will also be direct and honest with any feedback to them or responses to their questions of me. I will not infer things or drop hints in the hope that they will “get it” and work it out for themselves. I will also admit it if and when I have got lost in the discussion or when I am unsure about an answer to a question. I sometimes admit that and come back later with a more considered opinion.

However I will not suspend or deny my own personality. I will express things as I normally would and use plain language. I will react, laugh smile or look quizzical in my normal way. I will bring my natural personality “to the coaching party” and act in an authentic way. I do this because it is me, it demonstrates integrity and because I would not be comfortable doing it in any other way. After all we expect our coachees to be honest with themselves and with us so we should be modelling and demonstrating the way for them.

If my natural approach and personality does not work for someone and they don’t understand or appreciate my approach then I am not the coach for them. This is regrettable but fine by me and I explain this to them at the initial coaching meeting and I invite them to consider my appropriateness as a coach for them. I would rather that they opted out at this early stage if they feel that I am wrong for them than to soldier on through a number of sessions when they have not bought in to me and my approach. In practice this has rarely but occasionally happens.

As a coach what do you do about your own ego and personality?

The first thing for us to do as coaches is to recognise that we have one and to guard against letting it get in the way of our objectivity, focus of attention, or support for our coaching subject. We are there for their benefit and not for ours!

The danger signs are - if we find ourselves telling anecdotes from our experience which have little or no relevance let alone benefit for the coachee and their agenda or circumstances. If we find that we are drifting off mentally and thinking our own thoughts, rather than focusing on the coachee’s issues and environment then we have our attention in the wrong place. This can happen to us quite unwittingly and we need to be on our guard to watch out for it. If we find ourselves judging the person, wondering how they could possibly have got themselves into such a situation and why on earth they cannot just do the simple thing that we would do to solve their problem or resolve their situation, then we are thinking more about ourselves than about them.

It is equally dangerous if we over-empathise with them and their situation and as a result lose our objectivity and ability to challenge them and their thinking. If our empathy extends too far and if we fins ourselves being overly sympathetic then the chances are that we are identifying too much with their situation. We need to check that we are standing alongside the person that we are coaching and helping them as an equal rather than treating them as a “controlling parent” might, as described in Eric Berne’s excellent work on Transactional Analysis.

Another question to ask ourselves is “why are we doing this work as a coach”?

Now I realise that there are a number of answers to this related to earning a living and to it being a natural career step from where we were before. However if we are embarking on this coaching work for personal status, position and to look big and superior in the eyes of our peers and coaching subjects then I suggest that we may going into it for the wrong reasons.
Of course we need to acknowledge and understand that we do all have our own egos to attend to and deal with – but as long as we recognise this and find other areas of our lives where they can be massaged and put first then we should be able to maintain the focus of our coaching work on the right person, the coachee and not on ourselves.

How does a person know who would make a good coach for them?

Firstly the personal chemistry between the two parties is key to establishing the right relationship. This is not about friendship (although it could be) but more about trust, empathy, rapport, respect and understanding.

Secondly and most importantly, successful coaching depends mainly on the attitude; willingness, circumstances, timing and desire of the coaching subject themselves. They may not have all of these factors in place and proactively know that coaching is what they want and need right from the start. People don’t just wake up one morning and think “Ah, what I need now is a series of coaching sessions/good dose of coaching”! It usually takes some other form of stimulus to bring coaching forward in their consciousness as a potential development solution for them.

Other factors that are sometimes important factors for the coachee when making their choice of coach can be:- gender – do they want a person of the same or opposite sex, age – do they want a person who is older, the same age or younger than them, (although this would be an unusual choice), experience – do they want someone with experience from their type of organisation, functional specialism, marketplace, or approach –do they want someone who is more or less directive, conventional or unconventional, or who has specialist skills e.g. NLP Practitioner, acting & drama, psychotherapy, occupational psychology, or specialist knowledge eg Finance, Marketing, Education, H.R. etc.

In practice and in my experience most new coachees are not provided with and don’t seek out a long or broad list of potential coaches to choose from. More often they meet or talk with their sponsor who has some personal knowledge of me or one of my colleague coaches and who recommends that they might like to meet with me to discuss the prospect of them being coached. They may be given a choice of two or three coaches known to sponsor but this usually comes with a personal recommendation. In my organisation, we would usually offer potential new coachees a choice of coach, unless we have been recommended individually. If we are asked by a coachee about who else we have who might be able to coach them and do they have a choice in this then we will offer them one or two alternative coaches. In practice this matter of choice rarely occurs. Quite often the sponsor or coachee themselves suggests to us that we will know best who is likely to be the best fit coach for the new coachee. This choice of coachee is largely based on trust, judgement and respect – initially from the sponsor that it is the right timing and circumstance for the potential coachee to be coached. Then that I or we are the right coaches for them. Then from the new coachee that they feel that they can trust us and that we can probably be the right coach for them. This decision is established and confirmed or not at the first meeting and initial coaching sessions.

So is there a coach out there for everyone? Maybe yes in theory – but only if they are WILLING, as a coachee, to take responsibility, are open minded, able to be honest with themselves and with their coach – and are prepared to search for their answers largely from inside – from their own resources.

Some people are not interested in the concept of opening up their minds to new possibilities and options and do not want to disclose and share their circumstances, thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, issues and plans with a relative stranger working as a new coach with them. Some people are not ready for this yet. Some people don’t have the desire and motivation to put themselves into this coaching relationship. Some doubt or mistrust the process or worry about confidentiality leaks.
For many people they have never had the coaching process suggested to them as a possible option, or haven’t reached the stage in their personal or career development when it felt appropriate for them.

How important is note taking at a coaching session?

Taking notes of the key aspects raised at a coaching session is an important feature of the coaching service that I provide. This is because it provides a number of benefits mainly for the coachee such as:-
- a note of the key themes and issues discussed
- a list of the options that have been considered
- key actions to be taken by the coachee are highlighted
- they serve as a reminder to the coachee of what was important to them at their coaching session which often serves to reinforce their commitment to taking action
- it also reminds the coach of what was discussed at the last coaching session and helps us to prepare for each new session appropriately. The next area to consider is who should take these notes - the coach or coachee or both and whether or not it is appropriate to take notes whilst the session is in progress.
On the first point I feel that I should take the notes as the coach and then I commit to get them typed up and sent on to the coachee within 3 working days. Some of my coachees also keep their own notes - particularly of actions that they plan to take, which in my view is a very positive step towards them taking those actions. I still send them on my copy of the notes because they may read slightly differently and because the coachees really seem to value them. I have yet to encounter a coachee who didn't want to receive a copy of their notes!
However there are some potential drawbacks to taking notes during the coaching session. These include:-
The coach cannot be attending and listening properly to the coachee if he/she is also taking notes at the same time.

A coachee doesn’t want to spend the entire coaching session talking to the top of my head.

The Benefits

The notes produced from the session are often a very helpful reminder to the coachee of the content of the coaching session:

particularly of the actions and commitments made by the§ coachee
it brings back to them the sense and atmosphere of the§ session
it acts as a check list for them and a reminder for me§
§ it means that they are more likely to take ACTION and DO IT
they act§ as a basis for catching up at the next coaching session
they round§ off the process

BUT I don’t write them out when I am coaching every person:

some coachees (a small minority) don’t like it and find§ it off putting
some subjects require me to feel completely in tune§ with the coachee. I usually recognise this and put my pen down immediately and symbolically.
some coaching environments e.g. lunch/dinner make§ note taking
difficult

There are only 2 copies of the coaching notes – mine and theirs. I never send a copy on to anyone else. HOWEVER – I do always write up my coaching notes as soon as possible after the coaching session and send them back to the coachee within a few days of the session.

I send them by e-mail or “snail mail” to the coachee’s home or work – it is their choice from a speed, convenience and confidentiality point of view.

Coaching and Mentoring is there any difference?

These two terms are often used in the same sentence as if they are one and the same thing – but they are different processes and the experience and approach that you need have to be effective in either role are quite different as I shall go on to explain.

There are some similarities such as:-
- they are based on a 1 to 1 relationship between two people, one of whom is the subject and object of the process and the other of whom is the guide.
- they have broadly the same end result in mind – helping the subject to learn, gain satisfaction from their work and achievements and ultimately to perform at their best.
- these relationships usually have a time scale and dynamic that goes through the same upwards learning curve and eventually plateaus or declines in value – especially for mentoring where one of the long term success aims for a mentor may be to see their protégé move past them in terms of knowledge and expertise and performance.
- both coaches and mentors are drawing on the same set of inter-personal and communications skills to establish that committed relationship and focused discussions that will lead to the subject thinking and acting differently as a result.

There are also some key differences for example:-
- a coach does not have to be an expert in the subject area, job or knowledge field of the coachee, where as a mentor does.
- It is crucial for a mentor to have had experience in the organisation, industry or marketplace sector that their protégé is working in. This is less important for a coach and it is often helpful for the coach to be innocent and naïve about the organisation – which allows them to ask those idiot questions and not to feel hamstrung by what has gone on before.
- The mentor uses their previous experiences and knowledge to help guide their protégé by giving them examples and input from their background which can help them to move more quickly up the learning curve for their role. The coach is less likely to be focusing on their past experiences and more likely to have a predominant focus on their coachees experiences, problems and issues.
- The mentor may make important introductions to Institutions or to key people who he thinks could be a useful source of knowledge, expertise or sponsorship for their protégé. The coach is less likely to do this.

Is there therefore room for a person to have both a coach and mentor at the same time?
Yes I think that there is because each provides something different to the subject’s learning, development and performance.

Improving You Presentation Skills

Depending on what you need to learn the answer may be yes or no! What exactly do you need to learn and develop? Do you need to understand the fundamentals, develop your confidence or just brush up on a few skills?

The following are some examples of practical tips that you can try out and practice to improve your presentation skills.

· Before presenting, ensure that you understand as much about your audience as possible (what is their knowledge of the topic, what is their background, what will they be expecting?). Once understood, determine the approach you will take (what information to provide, what questions the presentation should answer, what tone should be adopted etc.). What questions might they ask?

· Outline your presentation by writing down all of the key points and in what order they should be presented.

· Make a video of yourself presenting to others. Critically review it with a colleague or friend.

· The best way to improve public speaking and develop confidence is through practice.

- Seek out opportunities that require you to make presentations to small groups, perhaps outside work with community or service organisations.

· To present opinions forcefully and directly, avoid phrases like ‘it seems to me’ or ‘it is likely that’. Use strong, ‘punchy’ verbs.

· Illustrate key points of your presentation with real life examples that your audience will understand.

· Examine the habits of an excellent speaker (for example, watch the weather presenters on TV). What is it that they do? What are their behaviours, body language etc? What can you learn from them? What are you prepared to try and do differently?

· Learn to read the reaction from the audience. Are they attentive throughout, do any look bored?

· Check your tone of voice and body language, is it consistent with your words? Ask others for feedback.

· Read the following books - Successful Presentation Skills by Andrew Bradbury, You’ve Got to Be Believed to Be Heard by Bert Decker, and The Definitive Book of Body Language, A&B Pease.

While the above is not meant to be an exhaustive list of tips to improve one’s presentation skills, it does serve as an example that a management training course may not be the answer to develop your presentation skills.

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