What advice do I give to person who wants to become a coach? Part one

By Claire Loving

There has been a significant increase in the number of people who are offering themselves as coaches to people in both the business world and in life in general. Over time, the public has become aware of coaching as a means of support in jobs that come with a great deal of stress. Many more training courses for coaches being advertised for people to train to become coaches and therefore there is much more availability and choice for people who want to ‘be coached’ or as I would say ‘receive coaching’.

I have been coaching people working in businesses and other organisations for the past 18 years and I am often asked by people that I meet how I got started as a coach – usually because they are hoping to become a coach themselves and they are interested in any advice that I have to give them. I originally learned about coaching from a person called Ben Cannon who had originally been a tennis player and tennis coach but who took what he had learned in the sports environment on into business and applied many of the same techniques and approaches to help people in business to improve their satisfaction and performance. The style that I learned from him was a ‘non-directive’ approach rather than a ‘tell’ style and it was and still is best explained and understood for me in the excellent book “Coaching for Performance” written by John Whitmore, now Sir John Whitmore a British ex-motor racing driver.

His seminal book and the GROW model coaching technique that he describes in it, is still, in my view, the best text for an aspiring coach to start with. This brings me to another key point about becoming a coach – it is something that you learn – largely by experience – and not something than can solely be taught or acquired through a training course. The other book that I found to be very instructive for me as an aspiring coach was the “Inner Game” series of books written by Timothy Gallwey about sports such as tennis, golf etc. His approach to coaching was also a non-directive one and also had its roots in tennis coaching in the U S.

The key learning for me from this text was about the self-awareness and responsibility of the coaching subject – the coachee – for the doing of their job. It is their job and life – not yours as a coach, that is important and therefore your focus of attention should be on them and what they are thinking, feeling and experiencing rather than on you as the coach.

So when asked about how I would advice a person to find out about coaching I would direct them towards reading some of these basics texts which explain the philosophy, approach and some techniques for non-directive coaching. Clearly there is another much more directive style of coaching around that is best embodied in many professional football coaches (and in some other sports) which relies on the “tell” or “push” approach to coaching. This can and does work effectively in some spheres of human endeavour and with some performers but it relies on the concepts of power, authority, expertise, knowledge of the “right way” to do things and on the coach taking part of the responsibility of how and what to do away from the performer. In my experience this is not the best way to approach coaching in business because invariably the coachees know so much more about their business situation than I do as their coach and they also expect to treated as responsible adults and don’t want to be told by me what to do and how to do it – they see this quite rightly as their choice and responsibility.

Look out for part two of this post next week

What to do if it looks as if your coachee is never going to change?

The underlying purpose of coaching is for the coachee to learn how to think differently so that they can improve their life either personally or professionally. As a coach, you must find a way of raising their self-awareness and help to find ways of taking new actions to improve not only your coachee’s action but also enable them to move towards independence and self-sufficiency.

However, this process can be difficult for a person new to the world of coaching and it may take time for the coachee to recognise all the possibilities available to them. Yet, if a coachee is showing no signs of taking on board the information you wish to impart, it can be very difficult to continue with the coaching. As a coach you should be able to find a way to relate to your clients, no matter how frustrating it may be to meet resistance.

How can you reach out to your coachee?

• It could be that your coachee is still not very aware of their potential. You need to eke out a positive response and you can do this by admitting to your coachee that the sessions are not working as you expected and devise a plan to go forward together. Hand control back over to them.
• Could it be that there are external barriers stopping the coachee from progressing? They may not have originally been forthcoming with personal information that you need to be aware of, such as a sick relative, a complicated divorce or a medical complaint of their own. Coaching requires honesty on both of your parts and you need to adopt a holistic approach to helping a person improve professionally.
• Are your goals the same? As a coach, you may wish to help an individual improve professionally in different ways but your coachee may just want someone to talk to, to get issues off their chest. Some people just want to talk and be listened to. Some people do find a sympathetic ear empowering as it reminds them that they are worth listening to.
• Why has this person sought coaching? Some people truly want to improve their performance whereas other may simply begin coaching to please a superior. In a case like this, you may have to consider bringing the coaching relationship to an honest close as there is nothing you can do for them.

If you have tried for a significant period of time to engage with your coachee and find yourself getting nowhere, you need to be upfront with them. Realistically, you can only work with people who want your help. If the coachee is not willing to make coaching work for them, you need to assess whether or not they would benefit from you taking the time to persevere with their case.

Improving You Presentation Skills

Depending on what you need to learn the answer may be yes or no! What exactly do you need to learn and develop? Do you need to understand the fundamentals, develop your confidence or just brush up on a few skills?

The following are some examples of practical tips that you can try out and practice to improve your presentation skills.

· Before presenting, ensure that you understand as much about your audience as possible (what is their knowledge of the topic, what is their background, what will they be expecting?). Once understood, determine the approach you will take (what information to provide, what questions the presentation should answer, what tone should be adopted etc.). What questions might they ask?

· Outline your presentation by writing down all of the key points and in what order they should be presented.

· Make a video of yourself presenting to others. Critically review it with a colleague or friend.

· The best way to improve public speaking and develop confidence is through practice.

- Seek out opportunities that require you to make presentations to small groups, perhaps outside work with community or service organisations.

· To present opinions forcefully and directly, avoid phrases like ‘it seems to me’ or ‘it is likely that’. Use strong, ‘punchy’ verbs.

· Illustrate key points of your presentation with real life examples that your audience will understand.

· Examine the habits of an excellent speaker (for example, watch the weather presenters on TV). What is it that they do? What are their behaviours, body language etc? What can you learn from them? What are you prepared to try and do differently?

· Learn to read the reaction from the audience. Are they attentive throughout, do any look bored?

· Check your tone of voice and body language, is it consistent with your words? Ask others for feedback.

· Read the following books - Successful Presentation Skills by Andrew Bradbury, You’ve Got to Be Believed to Be Heard by Bert Decker, and The Definitive Book of Body Language, A&B Pease.

While the above is not meant to be an exhaustive list of tips to improve one’s presentation skills, it does serve as an example that a management training course may not be the answer to develop your presentation skills.

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Managing the Performance of Someone with a ‘Bad Attitude’

‘I have just had it with Fred’, said the Manager, ‘He has a terrible attitude to time keeping, he is always late, and I told him so! The problem is we have now fallen out. He claimed he has a good attitude to his work and time keeping, I told him that he hadn’t and it degenerated into an argument, what the heck do I do now?’

This scenario is all too familiar. Managers ‘know’ that a member of staff has a bad attitude towards some aspect of their work. They then decide to sit down with the individual either formally (as part of a performance management or appraisal process) or informally and tell it like it is.

The problem with this approach is that a Manager cannot prove whether someone has a bad (or even good attitude) towards something, any more than the individual can prove their own attitude towards it. The consequence of this is that people become offended (because their attitudes have been criticised), and they immediately defend themselves. The issue therefore doesn’t get resolved and the individual continues with their ‘poor attitude’.

To avoid performance management discussions degenerating into a farce, focus on behaviour, results or approach and not on an individual’s attitude. You might not be able to prove someone’s attitude; but you can prove their behaviour, their approach and the results they achieve.

Do not therefore use phrases such as ‘you have a poor attitude to time keeping or towards meetings.’ Translate your views into specific examples of their behaviour. For example, say, ‘You turned up 20 minutes late to meeting xyz on Thursday, and then 30 minutes late to meeting abc, on the following Tuesday. The consequence of this was that both meetings finished late which impacted on all the other attendees, and the work they had to do that day. It is important that we start our meetings on time – is there anything that might prevent you from attending meetings on time in the future?’

If you think that someone you manage has a ‘bad attitude’ towards an aspect of their work, stop and think before you confront them. Ask yourself, ‘what did they do that caused me to believe their attitude was poor? When and where was it? How can I be specific? What were the consequences? Following these simple guidelines will hopefully prevent your discussions from degenerating into a ‘tit for tat’ argument, and secure a change in the individual’s behaviour.

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