Giving Feedback

by Mark Evenden @ Developing People Ltd

Giving feedback can often be fraught with difficulties. You may worry about how the other person will react to your feedback, whether they will believe it, ignore it or possibly get angry, upset or even aggressive.

I remember many years ago working for a consulting firm when my boss asked me for some feedback about a colleague. A couple of months before I had an issue with this colleague as they hadn’t undertaken a final check on a report that subsequently went to a client with a number of mistakes in it causing me a little embarrassment.
I hadn’t said anything to this colleague at the time but as my boss wanted some feedback I explained what had happened. The following week my colleague came to me - they had just had their annual appraisal with our their boss and they were very angry with me.

They accused me of going behind their back and causing trouble – they said that they did not know anything about the mistakes in the report and if it was true then why didn’t they speak to them first?

In hindsight, they had every right to be angry - first of all they weren’t prepared to defend / explain themselves in their appraisal, and secondly I didn’t own the feedback I wanted to give, but did it through a third person instead - our boss.

This was an important lesson for me, and over the years I have picked up other tips to give feedback more effectively too:

1. Remember feedback should not always be about things that someone has done badly - it should also be used to reinforce things that have gone well too.

2. Always give feedback when it is fresh – in your mind and the other person’s. It is a waste of time referring to something that happened 3 months ago, as the other person will probably have forgotten about it and will wonder why you haven’t discussed it before.

3. Prepare what you will say in advance; think through what you will say and how you will say it.

4. Own the feedback you are going to give – don’t give it through a third person. If you have an issue with someone then you should discuss it with them first.

5. When giving feedback ask for the views of the other person first by asking open questions – “tell me about how you think your presentation went’. It may be that they already know what you are about to tell them.

6. Give feedback on what you observed. Make sure you are specific about the details, when, where, how often etc.



7. Own the feedback you give – “I saw, I heard, I observed …”, and stick to the facts and don’t be judgemental ( ‘you are too slow, careless, short tall etc!’), and don’t be vague ( ‘that report was great!’).

8. Discuss the impact their behaviour/actions had on others. For example - ‘The impact of you not turning up on time to the focus group meeting was that the meeting finished later than planned.’

9. Talk to them about the consequences of their actions. ‘The consequence of you turning up late was that our consumers felt we were very unprofessional.’

10. Finally agree with the other person what actions are needed, and what the resulting outcomes will be.


These are tips that I have learned over the years and I hope they help you too.

For more help on Giving and Receiving Feedback, please see our Training Course, or call us on 0845 409 2346 for more information.