Giving Difficult Feedback Effectively

Giving feedback is a tough thing to do correctly and effectively. It is tough because giving feedback can generate a range of emotions in the other person and if not handled correctly it can cause angst, bad feelings and mistrust. I have given feedback to many people over the years, sometimes effectively and many less so! Certainly in the past I have been very confrontational telling people “how it was” thinking that it was important that they knew but showed little concern for their feelings. Over the years I have learned to adopt a more balanced approach. If there is an issue I follow the following approach. 1. Start with the facts. I tell the other person what I saw and heard, the details and specifics. I start with the facts as these are the least confrontational part of the feedback and are the least likely to generate an emotive response. 2. Talk about consequences. I discuss with them the consequences of their behaviour and approach. For example, if they didn’t turn up to a meeting on time, I discuss the impact and consequence of this on them, (e.g. the meeting went on longer than planned) and on the business (e.g. ineffective use of management time). In my view this is the most powerful part of the feedback as it explains the consequences on them and their colleagues and provides the rationale for change. 3. Agree actions. I will then discuss with them the options they have and what they propose to do. Depending on whom I am giving feedback to, sometimes “telling them straight” what I want them to do works best. Others may respond more positively to a questioning style, so I may for example ask them what they think they could do differently as a result of my feedback. 4. Clarify results. Finally to complete the feedback I agree the results or outcomes of their proposed actions. For example, if the feedback was about their presentation skills and style, one of the outcomes of changing their approach may be a more influential and persuasive sales presentation leading to a new customer for the business. As I mentioned earlier, giving feedback is tough because it can generate a range of emotions in the other person and if not handled effectively can do more damage to the relationship than good. Hopefully these tips I have showed here will act as a useful guide and prevent you making the same mistakes as I did!