Must a Good Leader Be Liked?

by Lucy Cadman at Developing People

It strikes me at some point during most days how lucky I am to have such a great boss. No, that’s not just me trying to earn some “Brownie points” – it really is the truth! Having worked for some particularly challenging leaders in my time, I feel justified in being able to comment what makes a good leader, and on the subject of whether or not a good leader must be liked.

A few years ago, I worked for an ogre – and I really do mean of full-scale proportions! This particular gentleman was totally and utterly unapproachable, whether it be with a problem, a question, a suggestion or any degree of social chat. He would stalk through my office at ten minutes past nine every morning on the way to his own dominion, and would (if I were lucky) snap a curt “hello” as he went past. Until he stalked back out again at ten minutes to five every night (despite demanding total and unerring punctuality for nine to five from myself), the only words I would receive from him were bullet-pointed instructions fired as if from a gun, or complaints and criticism if a miniscule item happened not to be one hundred percent perfect.

He honestly believed that he commanded my respect and therefore my devout hard work by this harsh, Dickensian method of running the office. However, it is safe to say that there were more errors made, more disasters that could have been averted, more severely unhappy clients and more questions that never got answered owing to the fact that I lived in constant fear and trepidation of having to knock on his door and go into the lion’s den. Funnily enough, after two days I was hunting through the local job adverts, and after two months I had moved on … shortly followed by my predecessor … and then their predecessor … and then theirs …

Since then I have had a thankfully-received plateau of “pretty nice but nothing truly spectacular” leaders, and have finally, gratefully and happily reached a point where I feel I can ascend no further in the kind of leadership that I receive now.

Good leaders must be many things in varying quantities – for example :

* Trustworthy
* Enthusiastic
* Confident
* Purposeful
* Tolerant and calm
* Analytical
* Committed to excellence
* Respected

They must also be able to motivate and trust their workforce, communicate their ideas well, work effectively and practically, encourage and inspire their staff, and above all, lead by example. They must have drive, passion and enthusiasm, not only for what they do, but for the people who they are responsible for.

BUT is it necessary that they are liked, or even likeable? Or is it purely an added bonus if this is the case?

There is an old military saying that if you take care of your troops, they will take care of you. Another vital element to a good leader, therefore, is taking care of those they lead. Employees who feel good about their workplace and the way they are led will contribute far more above the bare minimum required, and will generate high productivity for a relatively low turnover. So it is imperative that a good leader must be respected and able to get results, as well as also being able to find out what motivates each member of their team personally – and this care for people is something that cannot be faked, or brought to the working environment by someone who could be defined as unlikeable or unliked. Having said that, part of being a good leader is also going to be making difficult decisions which may not be popular (obviously with the best interest of both the business and the team at heart), and it is important that a good leader does not value being liked above making a sound business decision.

My boss took a holiday to South Africa recently, and got stranded there for an extra week in the aftermath of the eruption of the Icelandic volcano. In his absence, I noticed two things in particular. The first thing was how easy I found it to run the office due to feeling confident in my abilities brought about by his faith in me and his encouragement of me. I felt comfortable with the strategies that were in place (even though none of them catered for such an emergency), the clients that I had to deal with, and the workload that we had to tackle that week, again primarily due to the constant good leadership that I experience day in and day out. The second thing was how quiet the days were without the light-hearted and sociable companionship that I am used to there being around this office environment – something that I guess you take for granted until it is not there.

What role does Leadership Development play in all of this? Is it possible to learn all the qualities of a good leader, and thus for a person to transform themselves from having less likeable qualities to being really liked? Leadership skills can of course be learned, but leadership also comes from within – leadership can bring about a transformation within those being led, but the leader must have both the right tools and the right attitude and disposition to see that transformation begin to happen.